Falling for Success

What is success?  How do we stretch ourselves to the next level?  Yes, these are age old questions.   So here’s my two cents on the topic.  Experience is one of the best teachers.  How do we gain experience?  Sit neatly in a classroom or at a desk?  Hope that knowledge will be bestowed upon us without it getting painful or messy? I think not.  Falling face down in the mud is more likely to provide passionate foresight.

As a culture, we celebrate successes and generally spend little time talking about our failures.  After all, failure is uncomfortable and we’d rather not share our pain.  If we do talk about those moments when we were NOT successful, it is often a hushed conversation behind a closed door.  Instead we dedicate ourselves to carefully crafting and articulating the stories we want people to know.  We paint pretty pictures of success and conveniently leave out the moments of desperation and heartache.   Why is it taboo to be honest and say the journey here SUCKED, spend time sharing the whys and hows of what that experience was REALLY like and only summarize the… “I learned a lot about myself and the process, got stronger, figured out some new techniques and arrived here successful” part of the story?

If we want success, we have to talk about the painful parts of the process: sleepless nights, gut wrenching worry, the multiple failed attempts, how many times we quit, and how many people told us it couldn’t be done… Without the struggle, the success wouldn’t have happened.  So where do we go from here?

Step 1: Accept failure – perhaps so far as to even celebrate it.  We are not perfect.  We will never be perfect.  Perfection is boring.  Failing unveils possibilities we wouldn’t have known existed if we hadn’t had an unexpected perspective shift…

Step 2: Alter the expectation – expect to fail many times.  We are so used to the beautifully packaged stories of success with a trial that quickly and neatly resolves that our reality is out of whack! Failure happens, expect it.

Step 3: Communicate – being honest with yourself and others is crucial.  We need each other.  The journey is easier with a support network.

Step 4: Practice Resilience – falling hurts, it is embarrassing and can shake us to our core.  Practicing resilience teaches courage, using courage to continue, teaches perseverance.  Persevering again and again teaches consistency.

Step 5: Keep going, consistency wins – consistent innovation will in time provide success.  The outcome will likely not be as initially intended but will be tested and true.

So that’s it, success is messy.  It is painful.  It is educational.  It is rarely simple or easy.  That’s also where some of the satisfaction comes from.  Good luck out there!